Turning Friday Night into Family Night has spurred some wonderful and deep conversations within the Cochrane Family. Our children have been able to be engaged and learn from these conversations as much as the adults. Recently, we had Fatimah and her two children Wudood and Hanaa over for dinner. Alex my 7 year old son had a very special question for Fatimah which I broached with her earlier. “Why do you wear that on your head?” Alex asked shyly. My friend Fatimah is Muslim, and wears a head scarf. The rest of us held our breath because we did not want to offend Fatimah or her family by asking insensitive questions. These were our guests and our friends and we did not want them to feel on display. Fatimah merely smiled and very patiently answered that her headdress was called a “Hijab.” She went on to explain that she wears it out of reverence for God and as a symbol of her Muslim Faith. Alex then asked, “Do you ever take it off?” Fatimah laughed;” Yes, I take it off when I am alone or in the presence of my family. However if there is another male in the house who is not related to me I put it back on.” The conversation went on for a while and then Fatimah turned to her 12 year old son and asked him to explain further why she wears the Hijab so that it would be a learning experience for everyone at the dinner table. Wudood chimed into the conversation by saying, “It is to protect her beauty. “ Fatimah further explained that her beauty is a special gift that she reserves just for her family. The conversation took many twists and turns that night. Over pizza we discussed many of the religious and cultural differences (and similarities) between the Muslim and Christian Faiths. Our two families talked about the fasting for Ramadan in the Muslim Faith and the tradition of giving up something for Lent within the Christian Religion. That was a very special night in our house. Our home and our dinner table became the focal point of learning, sharing and understanding. Much of that conversation was as poignant as any formalized education our children will ever receive in school. Understanding, and therefore tolerance, starts at home regardless whether it is religious, racial, political or ethnic – and sometimes can take place over pizza. The bigger lesson to be gleaned from Alex’s question and the answer he received is love and respect. He asked a potentially impolite question in a respectful manner and received a thoughtful and detailed answer. Learning to respect and love everyone for who they are is a lesson we hope will last our children throughout their lives. Respect and Love and Understanding all lead to peace, and peace is perhaps the greatest manifestation of Gods love available to us on earth.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Cultural Learning 101
Turning Friday Night into Family Night has spurred some wonderful and deep conversations within the Cochrane Family. Our children have been able to be engaged and learn from these conversations as much as the adults. Recently, we had Fatimah and her two children Wudood and Hanaa over for dinner. Alex my 7 year old son had a very special question for Fatimah which I broached with her earlier. “Why do you wear that on your head?” Alex asked shyly. My friend Fatimah is Muslim, and wears a head scarf. The rest of us held our breath because we did not want to offend Fatimah or her family by asking insensitive questions. These were our guests and our friends and we did not want them to feel on display. Fatimah merely smiled and very patiently answered that her headdress was called a “Hijab.” She went on to explain that she wears it out of reverence for God and as a symbol of her Muslim Faith. Alex then asked, “Do you ever take it off?” Fatimah laughed;” Yes, I take it off when I am alone or in the presence of my family. However if there is another male in the house who is not related to me I put it back on.” The conversation went on for a while and then Fatimah turned to her 12 year old son and asked him to explain further why she wears the Hijab so that it would be a learning experience for everyone at the dinner table. Wudood chimed into the conversation by saying, “It is to protect her beauty. “ Fatimah further explained that her beauty is a special gift that she reserves just for her family. The conversation took many twists and turns that night. Over pizza we discussed many of the religious and cultural differences (and similarities) between the Muslim and Christian Faiths. Our two families talked about the fasting for Ramadan in the Muslim Faith and the tradition of giving up something for Lent within the Christian Religion. That was a very special night in our house. Our home and our dinner table became the focal point of learning, sharing and understanding. Much of that conversation was as poignant as any formalized education our children will ever receive in school. Understanding, and therefore tolerance, starts at home regardless whether it is religious, racial, political or ethnic – and sometimes can take place over pizza. The bigger lesson to be gleaned from Alex’s question and the answer he received is love and respect. He asked a potentially impolite question in a respectful manner and received a thoughtful and detailed answer. Learning to respect and love everyone for who they are is a lesson we hope will last our children throughout their lives. Respect and Love and Understanding all lead to peace, and peace is perhaps the greatest manifestation of Gods love available to us on earth.
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