Our Deepest Fear is that We are Powerful...

The December season is a special season that inspires hope and reminds us of who we are inside. I love the lights in the Holiday season. The Christmas season reminds me of the light inside of each human being. This light is a magnificent radiant light. May your light burn bright today. Hear is a quote to remind you of who you really are.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson

Love is Blind

When we say that “Love is Blind” we often think of two people in love like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, but the phrase has implications on every relationship that we have. Over time I have learned that any love worth having is truly blind. Recently our family adopted a 7 year old dog named Louie. Unfortunately, Louie had a habit of using my carpet as his own personal latrine. Louie has another bad habit of rolling in smelly stuff. Although we were able to curb his inside behavior, he still comes in smelling pretty awful at least once a week. We thought that these behaviors were deal breakers when we first got Louie. They made me see red—as I am the one who usually cleans up the mess. Then one day my perspective changed. I saw Louie playing on the floor with my 3 year old daughter. Athena was rolling over Louie like a steam roller. Louie just sat there and happily obliged her every whim. He even allowed her to walk him around the house on a leash, dress him up, and tie him to whatever fancied her heart. Louie is very good tempered and is like this with all my children all the time. He loves being a family dog and rises to the occasion of whatever my kids throw at him without getting the slightest bit growly. As I looked at him and Athena playing together on the carpet, I realized that “love is blind.” I had to admit it to myself. I definitely love Louie—stinky dog smell and all. The simple fact is that I can focus on the 10% that Louie does wrong and be miserable or I can focus on the 90%that makes our family happy.

In truth, everyone is like Louie. We all have traits and habits and indiscretions that others find loathsome. We all metaphorically roll in things that don’t smell so good from time to time. There are no perfect people. For example I love my son but he is a drama king, my other son is hyperactive and my daughter would be perfect if she wasn’t such a bossy little creature. Don’t even let me get started about my husband or my grandmother. However, in order to really love them or anyone for that matter we must be willing to look past their faults and see their perfection. Like Louie, it is not the fact that they roll in smelly stuff that matters, it is that for the other 90% of the day my kids are amazing and so is my Husband and Grandmother as well as anyone I know.

This action of seeing people’s perfection instead of their limitations is driven home this time of year as we get together with friends and family for Thanksgiving. As we sit at the Thanksgiving table look at all the people across from us. We are reminded that each one of them carries baggage that we don’t like and don’t talk about in civil company. I will go as far as to say we would not even associate with some of them if they were not related to us. Every one of the people around you at the table has foibles. They’re Republicans or Democrats. They’re homosexual or homophobic. They’re drunks or teetotalers, fundamentalists, agnostics or atheists. They are a whole host of other ‘-ists’ that we find intolerable. You name your poison; the list goes on and on. They are all represented at the Thanksgiving table and we break bread with them anyway despite the elephant in the room and the enforced silence about certain topics. Without this blind spot that you make for the people you love we would not be able to love them at all. So yes—love is blind. It should be no other way. After all, much like the inclusions in a diamond, it is our imperfections that make us special.

Back to basics

My torn rotator cuff put me out of the game since January. I have been unable to exercise. Over time my habits changed, my life became more sedentary and my body became soft. This had devastating effects on my self-esteem and I became depressed. I had lost my balance and my edge. Contrary to what you might think, this downward spiral was not all ego based. As I once learned in Karate our lives must be balanced, “Body, Mind and Spirit” for us to be the wonderful creatures that we were meant to be. Balance in these 3 areas puts us in accord with the universe and all goodness flows from that. The Bible even holds that our body is the temple of God. If this is indeed the case, then everything that we do in life starts with our core being. Therefore it was back to basics for me. This week has been devoted to my center. In order to do this, I started practicing yoga again and the effects on my psyche in just one week have been astounding. I am standing straighter, my posture is better, my self confidence is back and I am happy and centered. I know that this is just the beginning but “the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.” I have committed to myself to do Yoga every day for 30 days. I am on day seven. Every part of my body aches with pain but I am relishing the feeling of soreness knowing that I am transforming inside and out. As they say, “all is well with my soul.”

The 2010 Cochrane Family Creed

Our family created a Family Creed this year. We are trying to use it as our family's mission statement to help us stay on course as a family. Everything we do (together or seperately) should come back to this statement.


Love yourself;
Love one another;
Love and respect the entire planet and the universe;
Make that love visible through deeds.

Our family is alive to;
Marvel at nature,
give thanks,
forgive others,
make everyone feel of worth
and to serve others
while bringing creativity,
joy and learning to everything we do;
All from within a state of quite cool.

The President of the United States in Bowie,MD

I make no bones about the fact that I love President Barack Obama. In fact it was going to his Inauguration that spurred me to write my blog in the first place. But today was a sweet day; I got to see President Obama with my own two eyes from about 40 feet away at Bowie State University. No matter what your politics, it is aw inspiring to see the President of the United States of America. I absolutely love him! He always inspires me to want to be a better person. I am so grateful that my husband sent me the invite to see the Prsident. My husband went above the call of duty. He even got up early to take me to the train station so that I could have this moment after working all night. He is such an amazing man.

Forever Dog

It is common knowledge that our family has raised 3 dogs for Guiding Eyes for the Blind, GEB. We did not know how impacting this was on Alex’s life until he read an Open Court assignment last year in school on a boy who had gone through the experience of raising and giving up his dog Rosie for the blind. Alex steadfastly refused to do the assignment and then dissolved into a heap of tears when I finally read the story to him as a last resort. His teacher, Scott, and I all talked to Alex and he learned what a great organization Guiding Eyes was. They were not just puppy thieves. We told him how Guiding Eyes taught our family about giving; Nevertheless, Scott and I agreed that it was time for a forever dog outside of GEB. Thus we have Louie. Louie is a beautiful 7 year old Golden retriever that Scott calls furniture because he is as big as a Shetland pony. Louie was being liquidated in a divorce and needed a home. He had previously grown up with a wonderful family that has 3 children about the same ages as our children. Louie was love at first sight. Louie literally ended up on our door step and after one night it felt like Louie had lived hear all his life. Louie has such a laid back temper. He lets the children use him daily as a jungle gym for their exercise and sleeps on the boy’s floor. Our family can not say enough nice things about Louie. He is smart, food driven and has nice manors. Clearly you can tell that he was loved all his life. But my favorite part is that he learned (in 2 days) not to come into the kitchen and what the house rules were. Louie is such a love. He is everything we always wanted in a forever dog.

Everyday Miracles

Miracles are not some random events that happened thousands of years ago in the Bible or in some other ancient text, like the parting of the red sea. Miracles are the soft whispers of God that happen in any given moment. They are the moments where we connect to everything around us and they are as plentiful as the sands on the sea shore. I have had many of these encounters in the last couple of days—in fact I have them everyday—and every time I meet someone. I just have to slow up, be present, and surrender to the moment. Miracles happen in the normal course of life as I am going about shopping in the food store or speaking on the telephone. I have found that any meeting that I have with another person is a chance meeting with God—no matter how brief. Yesterday I went up to Edgar in Trader Joes to thank him because he had told me with such conviction that my operation was going to be all right. He had told me this while loading my groceries in the car. Then there was Pat at Safeway that reassured me that I was a good Mom when Athena was wailing (to my embarrassment) at the top of her lungs in Safeway because she wanted me to buy her candy and I had said “No.” I was so happy that the universe had sent me a special Angel to tell me to hang in there. The Universe is like a pipeline and the God moments just keep coming like rushing water. Next, I was in the wine store buying a bottle of wine. I talked to the gentleman who is a retired police officer about children. He got an old faded picture out of his wallet and showed me his 3 grown children and regaled me about their lives and how one is even living in California these days. He had 2 sons and a daughter just like me and it was as if he was saying it was going to be all right. See I had 3 kids and they survived and you can do it too with your 3 kids. As I looked into the Gentleman’s eyes I could tell this was a special moment I was sharing with him and that it was more important then the wine I was buying. After we spoke he came from behind the counter and held Athena up so she could feed the fish in the tank. This was a Wow moment and I would have missed it if I was going too fast. But these moments don’t stop—they just keep on coming and I have another ten stories just like them that happened all on the same day. All of these moments are Miracles. These moments when people see me and I really see them are sacred. They happen with perfect strangers, friends, acquaintances, reminding us that there is no separation. We are just one big happy family. In those moments we stop and visit as if we are old friends catching each other up on what we have missed even if we have just met 10 seconds before.

The Power of Womanhood

Women are strong and compassionate leaders because we have a natural wisdom that resonates from the heart. I came to understand this after becoming a Mother. I went through natural childbirth and discovered that as a woman I have an ancient wisdom within me. Women are the Steel Magnolias. We are the Yin in ‘Yin and Yang’; the world needs us to maintain balance. We women bring forth life and are inexorably connected to nature and to others. All women share this ability to create with the Divine, thus beauty, love and empathy are the essence of our soul. This truth was hidden from me for quite some time. Being a victim of rape, I thought men held the power; but over time realized we are all one. To forgive the rapist is to forgive myself. To help a robbery victim is to lend a hand to God. To love and nurture my children is to love and nurture generations unto the end of time. Being a woman means I can be a leader like Queen Elizabeth, Hillary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice, and I can be compassionate like Florence Nightingale and Mother Teresa. Today I wear many hats. I am a Mom, Marathon Runner, Black Belt, Lay Minister, and Hospice Volunteer. My power manifests not only in the choices I make daily to shape my children’s lives but in every sacred moment. What makes me a leader is living this truth, even when no one else is looking. All of my choices are manifestations of every woman’s inner voice and we are --- one.

Athena's Labrinth

Our spiritual teachers come in all forms if were open to it--sometimes they are 3 year olds. This last Sunday I was out with a sub set of my children; My 8 year old son Alex and my 3 year old daughter Athena. We were walking a stone Labyrinth after church. Although the idea of the labyrinth traditionally comes from Greek mythology, this modern adaptation was meant to inspire thought or spiritual reflection. The idea was that you wanted to take a stone into the labyrinth (along with a personal intention) and place it on one of the stick drawn lines in the labyrinth thus adding to its creation. Anyone was free to walk the labyrinth anyway that appealed them. There was no wrong way just as there is no wrong way to go through life. Ultimately, the goal was to get to the center of the labyrinth and back and hopefully gain some sort of understanding along the way. I searched through the rock pile finding the perfect rock and picked up (holding it like a prized possession). Then I took off my shoes to signify holy ground and started to make the pilgrimage to the center of the labyrinth. I was so careful not to step on any of the lines and to follow the path previously created with stones. It was intense. Carefully and methodically I weaved through the labyrinth sometimes readjusting my course as I ran into a dead end. I was entrenched in thought and being very sacred about the whole practice when my daughter Athena (who has always been in touch with her spiritual side) came whizzing by me at a good clip. She was not walking the path but deliberately stepping over the stones to get to the center. Lines did not mean anything to her. She, after all, was three and children have no need of such restrictions. Children are so carefree! It occurred to me as I watched Athena reach the center of the circle (and exclaim that she did it) that the lines or restrictions that hold us back in life are often times self-created. In fact, there are no barriers in life at all other then the ones we create. Athena had taught me a wonderful lesson that all children know intuitively and adults have forgotten.

4th of July 2010

Alex sat on top of the wall and watched the fireworks on the 4th of July in Fredrick Maryland. He was lost in the mystery of "the Bombs Bursting in air" and I was transfixed by the mystery that he is my son. Life is truely worth marveling at. This wow moment is what it is all about.

Surgery and my Global Family

When things like surgery happen to you it makes you contemplate our global existence and how family fits into that. When I first found out that I was going to have surgery I was very sad because I do not have a lot of family that is close in proximity to me in Maryland. 100 years ago it was our immediate family in the village or tribe (where we grew up) that took care of us when life went wrong. However since families live so far away in 21st century, I have had to transition to a more global way of looking at the idea of family. In order to deal with the distance between blood related families it is imperative that we treat the world at large as our extended family doing for them what we would have done for our families in small tribes. Not only is it important to give people in our community care but it is important to take help from those around us when life goes aerie. The word “family” has to be more linked today with geographic location rather then blood ties. In a recent meditation that I had before I went to the hospital I was reminded that I am a child of the universe not just of two earthly parents. Therefore everyone is technically my family and there are no divisions between us. We are all children of the universe. Some would say we are decedents of Adam and Eve and the spark of God lives in each and every one of us. Wherever there are people we have family. There is no such thing as being alone.

Today I was blessed by being the recipient of this new type of global family and I am so grateful. My surgery went very well. All the doctors and nurses took such good care of me at the Edward Pavilion at Anne Arundel Medical Center but I found a special connection to my Anesthesiologist who was this amazingly beautiful woman who had four children about the same ages as mine. We swapped parent stories and laughed so much the tears were almost ran down my face. My Anesthesiologist told me that she would be with me every step of the way in the operating room. Although each person that I came across today at the hospital treated me with dignity and respect (and even a smile) I was ecstatic when my doctor told me that my rotator cuff and ligament were only 20% torn which means I will be out of the sling in 3 days and recovery will be only a month. This was the best case scenario and is a dream come true--especially with 3 kids at home. I owe so many people thanks today for uplifting me and helping me to get well. I owe thanks not only the people that I just met today but also to all the people in my personal life. Scott for one continues to be the back bone of my existence. I was so touched by the teddy bear (in a sling) and poster that welcomed me home on the front porch that he did with the kids. But my gratitude did not stop there. My local community came through for me in immeasurable ways. I am so grateful. Beth who took me to the hospital (stayed with me) and brought me copious amounts of pudding from Trader Joes that I ate ravenously. But the help did not stop there. Alexandra came over to bring our family dinner. Then Teri stepped up to watch me so that I would not be in the house alone in the house while Scott drove Alex to the Popkins for a sleep over. The help was like a bottomless well. So many people called, emailed me and sent me text to let me know that I was loved—and all of these expressions of love were so appreciated. I feel so overwhelmingly grateful to the universe for expressing its love for me in this form. I truly feel at one with my global family and am brimming with thanksgiving.

Rotator Cuff Surgery--1 week away

My greatest challenge is only a week away. Here is the update on my torn rotator cuff and my torn ligament. The pain in my shoulder has come back with a vengeance and the Doctor says I can’t wait until September to do the surgery so July 2nd is D-day. I was pretty scared up until yesterday because my surgery has the potential to be tougher then any marathon or triathlon I have ever done. Loosing the use of your right arm is basically loosing your freedom (not something I cope really well with). Loosing my independence is a pretty scary proposition with 3 small children and no family to help. The best case scenario is that my right arm will be in a sling for 3 days with a month recovery but the more likely scenario is that I will be in a sling for 4 to 5 weeks. Nevertheless I am sure that I will come through this event with flying colors. I am lucky to know such great people and I have a warrior spirit that will not allow me to give up: Age, Flexibility, family genetics, and being in good health are also positives on my side. Over all, I believe that the Universe is compassionate and right about now I am so happy that my 8 year old son Alex knows how to make French toast because we will be eating an awful lot of it. He is such a big help and I must never forget my wonderful husband. As I watched the remake of the Karate Kid last night I was reminded that the greatest asset of a human being is the ability to get back up when they fall down. The next few weeks will be a testament to living that truth and I know the help will come when I most need it.

Alex Does the Impossible

The great thing about children is they think that anything is possible and so it is. They are the ultimate dreamers. In keeping with the theme that anything is possible--Alex at the age of 8 years old completed the 3rd Annual Jaycees Soft Shell Metric Century 23 mile bike ride on the Eastern Shore with his father in Christfield MD on Saturday, May 29th. See the web site at: http://salisburyjc.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=55&Itemid=300091. Alex is pretty amazing! But what was more interesting is that he even fell off his bike and got right back up. These are without a doubt lessons for life.

A Sense of Adventure

Zefram was eating waffles at the Nautilus Dinner in Crofton yesterday. In the center of the waffle was a picture of a steering wheel of a ship. He was drawn to the image. In many ways the helm of an old ship not only denotes the ocean but it is also linked to a classic sense of adventure; So it is noteworthy that Zefram liked the picture so much because that is the motto of his life. In life there are 2 types of people in the world those that meet life with that sense of adventure and those that meet it with a sense of fear. Although many of us fall into the fear category, Zefram definitely falls into the adventure camp. Last night that sense of adventure extended to going to Ann Arundel Medical Center to have a sleep study done with Sleep Study of America (SSA) www.SleepServices.net. From the moment that Zefram new that we were going to the hospital to stay overnight he wanted to know all about the procedure in great detail. We went to the library to get a few books and then talked about what he would need for the trip. Zefram saw the trip to the hospital through the eyes of adventure. He thought of it as a giant sleep over and an excuse to have Mom all to him. For the last 2 days he methodically packed his suitcase full of books and favorite stuffed animals for his trip. When we finally showed up at the Hospital you would have thought that he was signed up for an amusement park ride. I was amazed! He sat with complete aw while the technician Gabriel covered him in cords, gadgets, and wires. He was curious about everything and thought it was the best moment of his life. I don’t know what Zefram will do as a career in the future but his sense of adventure will take him far. In many ways he is well named. The name Zefram Cochrane is from Star Trek. We named him Zefram Cochrane not because we were Trekies so much as that we thought the idea of a sense of adventure was a good legacy. However, Zefram personifies the name. It often makes you wonder if life denotes art or if art denotes life. Whatever the answer, Zefram will be there to enjoy it with a smile.

Bridging Ceremony

Coming of age rituals are such pivotal mile markers in growing up and should be celebrated with the same reverence as weddings. They make a huge difference on the psych of a young person and the community that watches a person maturate into a new form. Just recently, Alex participated in one of these rituals. He did the Bridge Ceremony in Boy Scouts to become a WBLS—which stands for We Be Loyal Scouts. Scott and I are so proud of Alex and the young man that he is becoming.

Old Time Charm is not dead in Little Italy

Anytime I feel homesick for NY and NJ I head to Baltimore to get my “Italian on” as I like to say. This morning my friend and our girls headed out to the Italian Bakery Vaccaro,s in Baltimore which is located in the heart of Little Italy (www.Vaccarospastry.com). This little shop is a staple of Charm City, has been there since 1956 and was even featured on Homicide: Life on the Streets. We hardly noticed the rain outside the window while surrounded by the old time charm that is reminiscent of our grandmother’s kitchen. The Bakery is a mix of modern conveniences and art deco décor with dazzling chandlers and plasma TV’s. However it was not the modern flare that overwhelmed me at Vaccaro’s but the warm friendly charm of Nick Vaccaro. Our feet barely crossed the threshhold before Nick whisked my daughter away behind the counter promising her as many pink cookies as she could eat. Being in Vaccaros reminded me of going to Italian Bakeries, Delis and Restaurants with my grandmother as a child. I remember Grandma prattling on in Italian surrounded by fantastic smells of Biscuits and Navali. But it was always the hospitality of these Mom and Pop establishments that I found to be the most memorable. Although Italians are known for their food it is the feeling of welcome that one receives that is the hallmark of these wonderful places. This type of hospitality is akin to the good service that you get at Nordstrom’s—but sadly is dying out in our society. Unfortunately, hospitality has the potential to disappear altogether before it is transferred to my daughter’s generation. Nevertheless, for a brief moment I was transferred back to that old time charm as we warmed our tummies with cappuccino the size of a fish bowl cascading with whipped cream, and discussed life, children, and the world at large. Nick Vaccaro's generosity towards our daughters was not lost on us. When we left Nick’s shop our hands were laden with Italian cookies and cannoli to share with our entire family and plenty of good stories. When you walk in the door at Vaccaros time is suspended as you enjoy the overall experience. It is funny that with all the modern conveniences of today it is really the old time charm and hospitality that resonates with the heart. For a brief moment this charm of Baltimore made me feel like family, and that warms my heart almost as much as the cappuccino on a rainy day.

Meditation for Mother's Day

This was the 1st Mothers Day that I spent on active duty without Scott and here is what I learned. I learned that Mothes Day is a state of mind. It is not enough to have others appreciate you--you must be willing to appreciate and love yourself. At the Unitarian Universalist church I heard the following meditation regarding Motherhood. It gave me pause.

This is the kind of God I could worship:
a heavenly Mother who prefers
imitation to adoration,
and who sees in all Creation
the indivisible smiles of Her children.
Our Mother, Holy Wisdom, draws one breath
and even we who are miles away
are warmed by the glory of Her inspiration.
Our Mother, Holy Wisdom, reaches out
and even we locked-up against ourselves
are immersed in the blessing of Her embrace.
This Earth is Her body,
and we, children of the Earth,
are Her children.

It really is as simple as that.
Let us honor our Holy Mother
by loving our bodies made in Her image,
by loving one another as she has loved us,
by loving this Earth, our beautiful and eternal home.

Amen.

By Jeffery B. Symynkwicz

Man’s Crown of Distinction

Some of the most profound and moving people in our lives are teachers. Recently I was visiting a friend of mine that told me that she has written down every book she has ever read since she was in 6th grade. She told me that the inspiration had come from her 6th grade teacher that told her that, “Knowledge is Man’s Crown of Distinction.” Teachers are truly inspirational. They are in our lives for such a short time and can affect us deeply for years to come. This was certainly the case with me. When I was in 4th grade I had a phenomenal teacher named Sharon Brown at Freehold Intermediate School. Mrs. Brown came into my life at an exceedingly rocky time for me. She was this beautiful ebony woman that taught gym and whose presence was larger then life. Mrs. Brown protected me from the other students when I could not protect myself and one day she told me (as I walked down the hall) that the world was not black and white but made up of a thousand shades of gray--I never forgot that. Mrs. Brown made a huge difference in my life. Similarly, Alex has a wonderful teacher in his life. Her name is Mrs. McSweegan. Mrs. McSweegan has tirelessly worked to help raise Alex’s self esteem and help him with follow-through in his class and transitioning from one task to another. Together with Dr. Curtis (Alex’s strings instructor) Mrs. McSweegan is making a lasting impression on Alex; Impressions that will help him weather middle school. All of these teachers have one thing in common; they have taught us things that go beyond what can be taught in books. In their own special way, they have left their imprint on our souls. That is their crown of distinction.

Thank you Mrs. Sharon Brown (wherever you are). I still think of you often and can not listen to Candy Man without smiling and thinking of you.

Family Bike Ride

The Cochrane Family woke up and was on the road by 7AM on Saturday morning. We had breakfast from the Duncan Donuts drive through—a rarity for us. Then our family headed to Cambridge on the Eastern Shore where we did a 12 mile family bike ride. It only cost 40 dollars to sign the whole family up which was incredible because the package came with shirts and was a well run event. Doing this bike ride was something that Scott planned. The family ride was a part of the 6 Pillars Century. The Six Pillars of Character are: Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, and Citizenship. Our plan was to break the ride up into small pieces and make a few stops so Alex (our 8 year old) would not have any trouble completing the entire ride. On one of our water stops we were informed that the family ride was in honor of a 4th grader, Ryan, who passed away from a degenerative disease. His favorite color was green so the kid’s shirts for the ride were also green. Alex and Zefram signed the young boy’s poster and then helped themselves to popsicles and all sorts of juice boxes. Over all, the entire family had a good time on the bike ride. It was such a blissful experience to ride next to the water. We even got to see DuPont Estates which is part of the University of Maryland Environmental Research Center. It was incredible to see the house and all the old trees that must have been around for 100’s of years. The kids even stopped and saw lots of Oyster shells at one of the research centers. There were many memorable events along our ride but what I will remember most is the our kids. Miraculously, Alex rode the entire way on his own in 7th gear, which blew us away. He is so strong and fast and has an unending amount of energy; that must be why Alex does not have an ounce of fat anywhere on his body. As for Zefram, he rode on the back of Scott’s bike on an attachment that allows him to pedal or to coast as desired. The bike attachment is a really cool contraption that looks like a bicycle built for two and adds an extra 50lbs. Honestly, I don’t know how Scott was able to ride with Zefram on the back of his bike and maintain his balance. Zefram is constantly throwing himself from side to side whenever he gets distracted which is constantly. He reminds us of the dog in the Movie Up that constantly is distracted when he sees a squirrel or hears someone say the word “squirrel”. Interesting enough, Zefram’s number for the ride was 666 which just amused us to no end. We love him so much and are ecstatic that he had a good time. As for Athena, she rode in a carrier attached to the back of my bike like a princess in a palatine. Many people commented on her life of leisure yet she was not amused and fussed for part of the ride because the button on the carrier came loose and was blowing in her face. Overall the event was delightful and we are looking forward to doing more bike rides as a family this year. The way we see it, doing events (like this) as a family is crucial to building closeness. Plus, bike riding may help us establish good healthy exercise routines that will affect our family for a life time. Another thing worth noting is that bike riding as a family is a great homage to Scott’s Grandparents who were avid bike riders.

My Memories of Ada

I ask for prayers. Our family is in mourning. Grandma Ada (my husband's paternal Grandmother) passed away last night at 1:30 AM peacefully at the age of 90. She was such a moving force in our lives and in the Cochrane Family at large. She was our matriarch. To us, Grandma Ada’s passing is the passing of an era. Grandma Ada was born in Italy in 1920 but you would never know it because her English was impeccable. She attended the World’s Fair in NY in 1939 where she met Scott's Grandfather Bill Cochrane. She always said she fell in love with his blue eyes there. Ada lived through World War II as a single mom in a NY apartment while Bill was off at war. I still marvel that she was able to do this and keep her sanity but she had tremendous fortitude and was one of those people who made things happen not excuses. Despite all this, Ada was the most well read women that I have ever met. In fact, she was the only person I knew that did the NY Times cross word puzzle in ink. She loved learning and often tutored other people into her senior years. She was also committed to passing on her love of learning and intellectual curiosity to her grandchildren and great grandchildren. Ada had passion for a great many things in her life. She loved the local library, doing cross word puzzles, bike riding, the Opera, NY City, and visiting Europe. She lived a full and active life filled with friends and family.

Despite all of these things, what I will remember most about Ada is her love of intellectual conversation over the dinner table. It was her forum. She often pontificated about her Democratic political views over salad, bread, wine, and her famous blueberry crisp. When Scott and I were dating we went to her house at least once a week for dinner. It was the best marriage counseling anyone could ever get and it was free. Eating meals with Ada and Bill made our marriage strong. Ada had a strong personality. She never had a problem telling you what she thought or where you stood in her life. In fact, there was a time Ada didn't like me very much. However, over time her opinion of me changed and when we began to exchange letters. Ada was an amazing woman. Rarely do we have the opportunity to meet someone so cultured in our life that is related to us. Scott and I always joked that if we were playing Trivia, Ada would be our lifeline.

I am honored that Ada was in my life and grateful to her for making Scott into the man he is today. Ada Raviglione Cochrane will be missed by our family in Maryland and by so many others. Her life will continue to be a ripple in the water that touches us deeply. As for me, I will continue to look longingly at the mailbox wishing for just one last letter from her.

Does what I do matter?

The question is “does what we do matter?” I stopped writing on my blog in December 2009. Now it is almost May 2010. There are so many reasons that I stopped writing. But in a nut shell I got disheartened and then I allowed life to get in the way. I kept asking if anybody cared that I was writing. With only one follower, I assumed the answer was, “No.” However, in retrospect I was asking the wrong questions. What was behind the question of “does what I do matter” was an even larger question of “do I matter?” I have come to the conclusion that the answer is “Yes.” Recently, my hospice patient passed away. She was a stay at home Mom and I loved to listen to her stories of raising her girls in their formative years. Before she passed away she gave me the recipe to Strawberry Banana Pie which I made this spring for my children. They loved it! Even Scott loved it. Strawberry Banana Pie has become a staple at our table and in our lives. My hospice patient mattered and every time I eat that pie, I will think of her and her legacy will be remembered; which brings full circle to my blog postings. It does not matter if the world reads my blog or not. What matters is that it is a way of saying I was here. My blog and the things I write for my kids is my Strawberry Banana Pie. So I am delighted that I am remembered by at least one follower and that my 3 adoring children will remember that I was here. And for that I matter.