Love is Blind

When we say that “Love is Blind” we often think of two people in love like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, but the phrase has implications on every relationship that we have. Over time I have learned that any love worth having is truly blind. Recently our family adopted a 7 year old dog named Louie. Unfortunately, Louie had a habit of using my carpet as his own personal latrine. Louie has another bad habit of rolling in smelly stuff. Although we were able to curb his inside behavior, he still comes in smelling pretty awful at least once a week. We thought that these behaviors were deal breakers when we first got Louie. They made me see red—as I am the one who usually cleans up the mess. Then one day my perspective changed. I saw Louie playing on the floor with my 3 year old daughter. Athena was rolling over Louie like a steam roller. Louie just sat there and happily obliged her every whim. He even allowed her to walk him around the house on a leash, dress him up, and tie him to whatever fancied her heart. Louie is very good tempered and is like this with all my children all the time. He loves being a family dog and rises to the occasion of whatever my kids throw at him without getting the slightest bit growly. As I looked at him and Athena playing together on the carpet, I realized that “love is blind.” I had to admit it to myself. I definitely love Louie—stinky dog smell and all. The simple fact is that I can focus on the 10% that Louie does wrong and be miserable or I can focus on the 90%that makes our family happy.

In truth, everyone is like Louie. We all have traits and habits and indiscretions that others find loathsome. We all metaphorically roll in things that don’t smell so good from time to time. There are no perfect people. For example I love my son but he is a drama king, my other son is hyperactive and my daughter would be perfect if she wasn’t such a bossy little creature. Don’t even let me get started about my husband or my grandmother. However, in order to really love them or anyone for that matter we must be willing to look past their faults and see their perfection. Like Louie, it is not the fact that they roll in smelly stuff that matters, it is that for the other 90% of the day my kids are amazing and so is my Husband and Grandmother as well as anyone I know.

This action of seeing people’s perfection instead of their limitations is driven home this time of year as we get together with friends and family for Thanksgiving. As we sit at the Thanksgiving table look at all the people across from us. We are reminded that each one of them carries baggage that we don’t like and don’t talk about in civil company. I will go as far as to say we would not even associate with some of them if they were not related to us. Every one of the people around you at the table has foibles. They’re Republicans or Democrats. They’re homosexual or homophobic. They’re drunks or teetotalers, fundamentalists, agnostics or atheists. They are a whole host of other ‘-ists’ that we find intolerable. You name your poison; the list goes on and on. They are all represented at the Thanksgiving table and we break bread with them anyway despite the elephant in the room and the enforced silence about certain topics. Without this blind spot that you make for the people you love we would not be able to love them at all. So yes—love is blind. It should be no other way. After all, much like the inclusions in a diamond, it is our imperfections that make us special.