Bridging Ceremony

Coming of age rituals are such pivotal mile markers in growing up and should be celebrated with the same reverence as weddings. They make a huge difference on the psych of a young person and the community that watches a person maturate into a new form. Just recently, Alex participated in one of these rituals. He did the Bridge Ceremony in Boy Scouts to become a WBLS—which stands for We Be Loyal Scouts. Scott and I are so proud of Alex and the young man that he is becoming.

Old Time Charm is not dead in Little Italy

Anytime I feel homesick for NY and NJ I head to Baltimore to get my “Italian on” as I like to say. This morning my friend and our girls headed out to the Italian Bakery Vaccaro,s in Baltimore which is located in the heart of Little Italy (www.Vaccarospastry.com). This little shop is a staple of Charm City, has been there since 1956 and was even featured on Homicide: Life on the Streets. We hardly noticed the rain outside the window while surrounded by the old time charm that is reminiscent of our grandmother’s kitchen. The Bakery is a mix of modern conveniences and art deco décor with dazzling chandlers and plasma TV’s. However it was not the modern flare that overwhelmed me at Vaccaro’s but the warm friendly charm of Nick Vaccaro. Our feet barely crossed the threshhold before Nick whisked my daughter away behind the counter promising her as many pink cookies as she could eat. Being in Vaccaros reminded me of going to Italian Bakeries, Delis and Restaurants with my grandmother as a child. I remember Grandma prattling on in Italian surrounded by fantastic smells of Biscuits and Navali. But it was always the hospitality of these Mom and Pop establishments that I found to be the most memorable. Although Italians are known for their food it is the feeling of welcome that one receives that is the hallmark of these wonderful places. This type of hospitality is akin to the good service that you get at Nordstrom’s—but sadly is dying out in our society. Unfortunately, hospitality has the potential to disappear altogether before it is transferred to my daughter’s generation. Nevertheless, for a brief moment I was transferred back to that old time charm as we warmed our tummies with cappuccino the size of a fish bowl cascading with whipped cream, and discussed life, children, and the world at large. Nick Vaccaro's generosity towards our daughters was not lost on us. When we left Nick’s shop our hands were laden with Italian cookies and cannoli to share with our entire family and plenty of good stories. When you walk in the door at Vaccaros time is suspended as you enjoy the overall experience. It is funny that with all the modern conveniences of today it is really the old time charm and hospitality that resonates with the heart. For a brief moment this charm of Baltimore made me feel like family, and that warms my heart almost as much as the cappuccino on a rainy day.

Meditation for Mother's Day

This was the 1st Mothers Day that I spent on active duty without Scott and here is what I learned. I learned that Mothes Day is a state of mind. It is not enough to have others appreciate you--you must be willing to appreciate and love yourself. At the Unitarian Universalist church I heard the following meditation regarding Motherhood. It gave me pause.

This is the kind of God I could worship:
a heavenly Mother who prefers
imitation to adoration,
and who sees in all Creation
the indivisible smiles of Her children.
Our Mother, Holy Wisdom, draws one breath
and even we who are miles away
are warmed by the glory of Her inspiration.
Our Mother, Holy Wisdom, reaches out
and even we locked-up against ourselves
are immersed in the blessing of Her embrace.
This Earth is Her body,
and we, children of the Earth,
are Her children.

It really is as simple as that.
Let us honor our Holy Mother
by loving our bodies made in Her image,
by loving one another as she has loved us,
by loving this Earth, our beautiful and eternal home.

Amen.

By Jeffery B. Symynkwicz

Man’s Crown of Distinction

Some of the most profound and moving people in our lives are teachers. Recently I was visiting a friend of mine that told me that she has written down every book she has ever read since she was in 6th grade. She told me that the inspiration had come from her 6th grade teacher that told her that, “Knowledge is Man’s Crown of Distinction.” Teachers are truly inspirational. They are in our lives for such a short time and can affect us deeply for years to come. This was certainly the case with me. When I was in 4th grade I had a phenomenal teacher named Sharon Brown at Freehold Intermediate School. Mrs. Brown came into my life at an exceedingly rocky time for me. She was this beautiful ebony woman that taught gym and whose presence was larger then life. Mrs. Brown protected me from the other students when I could not protect myself and one day she told me (as I walked down the hall) that the world was not black and white but made up of a thousand shades of gray--I never forgot that. Mrs. Brown made a huge difference in my life. Similarly, Alex has a wonderful teacher in his life. Her name is Mrs. McSweegan. Mrs. McSweegan has tirelessly worked to help raise Alex’s self esteem and help him with follow-through in his class and transitioning from one task to another. Together with Dr. Curtis (Alex’s strings instructor) Mrs. McSweegan is making a lasting impression on Alex; Impressions that will help him weather middle school. All of these teachers have one thing in common; they have taught us things that go beyond what can be taught in books. In their own special way, they have left their imprint on our souls. That is their crown of distinction.

Thank you Mrs. Sharon Brown (wherever you are). I still think of you often and can not listen to Candy Man without smiling and thinking of you.

Family Bike Ride

The Cochrane Family woke up and was on the road by 7AM on Saturday morning. We had breakfast from the Duncan Donuts drive through—a rarity for us. Then our family headed to Cambridge on the Eastern Shore where we did a 12 mile family bike ride. It only cost 40 dollars to sign the whole family up which was incredible because the package came with shirts and was a well run event. Doing this bike ride was something that Scott planned. The family ride was a part of the 6 Pillars Century. The Six Pillars of Character are: Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, and Citizenship. Our plan was to break the ride up into small pieces and make a few stops so Alex (our 8 year old) would not have any trouble completing the entire ride. On one of our water stops we were informed that the family ride was in honor of a 4th grader, Ryan, who passed away from a degenerative disease. His favorite color was green so the kid’s shirts for the ride were also green. Alex and Zefram signed the young boy’s poster and then helped themselves to popsicles and all sorts of juice boxes. Over all, the entire family had a good time on the bike ride. It was such a blissful experience to ride next to the water. We even got to see DuPont Estates which is part of the University of Maryland Environmental Research Center. It was incredible to see the house and all the old trees that must have been around for 100’s of years. The kids even stopped and saw lots of Oyster shells at one of the research centers. There were many memorable events along our ride but what I will remember most is the our kids. Miraculously, Alex rode the entire way on his own in 7th gear, which blew us away. He is so strong and fast and has an unending amount of energy; that must be why Alex does not have an ounce of fat anywhere on his body. As for Zefram, he rode on the back of Scott’s bike on an attachment that allows him to pedal or to coast as desired. The bike attachment is a really cool contraption that looks like a bicycle built for two and adds an extra 50lbs. Honestly, I don’t know how Scott was able to ride with Zefram on the back of his bike and maintain his balance. Zefram is constantly throwing himself from side to side whenever he gets distracted which is constantly. He reminds us of the dog in the Movie Up that constantly is distracted when he sees a squirrel or hears someone say the word “squirrel”. Interesting enough, Zefram’s number for the ride was 666 which just amused us to no end. We love him so much and are ecstatic that he had a good time. As for Athena, she rode in a carrier attached to the back of my bike like a princess in a palatine. Many people commented on her life of leisure yet she was not amused and fussed for part of the ride because the button on the carrier came loose and was blowing in her face. Overall the event was delightful and we are looking forward to doing more bike rides as a family this year. The way we see it, doing events (like this) as a family is crucial to building closeness. Plus, bike riding may help us establish good healthy exercise routines that will affect our family for a life time. Another thing worth noting is that bike riding as a family is a great homage to Scott’s Grandparents who were avid bike riders.

My Memories of Ada

I ask for prayers. Our family is in mourning. Grandma Ada (my husband's paternal Grandmother) passed away last night at 1:30 AM peacefully at the age of 90. She was such a moving force in our lives and in the Cochrane Family at large. She was our matriarch. To us, Grandma Ada’s passing is the passing of an era. Grandma Ada was born in Italy in 1920 but you would never know it because her English was impeccable. She attended the World’s Fair in NY in 1939 where she met Scott's Grandfather Bill Cochrane. She always said she fell in love with his blue eyes there. Ada lived through World War II as a single mom in a NY apartment while Bill was off at war. I still marvel that she was able to do this and keep her sanity but she had tremendous fortitude and was one of those people who made things happen not excuses. Despite all this, Ada was the most well read women that I have ever met. In fact, she was the only person I knew that did the NY Times cross word puzzle in ink. She loved learning and often tutored other people into her senior years. She was also committed to passing on her love of learning and intellectual curiosity to her grandchildren and great grandchildren. Ada had passion for a great many things in her life. She loved the local library, doing cross word puzzles, bike riding, the Opera, NY City, and visiting Europe. She lived a full and active life filled with friends and family.

Despite all of these things, what I will remember most about Ada is her love of intellectual conversation over the dinner table. It was her forum. She often pontificated about her Democratic political views over salad, bread, wine, and her famous blueberry crisp. When Scott and I were dating we went to her house at least once a week for dinner. It was the best marriage counseling anyone could ever get and it was free. Eating meals with Ada and Bill made our marriage strong. Ada had a strong personality. She never had a problem telling you what she thought or where you stood in her life. In fact, there was a time Ada didn't like me very much. However, over time her opinion of me changed and when we began to exchange letters. Ada was an amazing woman. Rarely do we have the opportunity to meet someone so cultured in our life that is related to us. Scott and I always joked that if we were playing Trivia, Ada would be our lifeline.

I am honored that Ada was in my life and grateful to her for making Scott into the man he is today. Ada Raviglione Cochrane will be missed by our family in Maryland and by so many others. Her life will continue to be a ripple in the water that touches us deeply. As for me, I will continue to look longingly at the mailbox wishing for just one last letter from her.

Does what I do matter?

The question is “does what we do matter?” I stopped writing on my blog in December 2009. Now it is almost May 2010. There are so many reasons that I stopped writing. But in a nut shell I got disheartened and then I allowed life to get in the way. I kept asking if anybody cared that I was writing. With only one follower, I assumed the answer was, “No.” However, in retrospect I was asking the wrong questions. What was behind the question of “does what I do matter” was an even larger question of “do I matter?” I have come to the conclusion that the answer is “Yes.” Recently, my hospice patient passed away. She was a stay at home Mom and I loved to listen to her stories of raising her girls in their formative years. Before she passed away she gave me the recipe to Strawberry Banana Pie which I made this spring for my children. They loved it! Even Scott loved it. Strawberry Banana Pie has become a staple at our table and in our lives. My hospice patient mattered and every time I eat that pie, I will think of her and her legacy will be remembered; which brings full circle to my blog postings. It does not matter if the world reads my blog or not. What matters is that it is a way of saying I was here. My blog and the things I write for my kids is my Strawberry Banana Pie. So I am delighted that I am remembered by at least one follower and that my 3 adoring children will remember that I was here. And for that I matter.