The Great Sadness

If there is one thing to be said about me it is that I am a Pollyanna at heart. I am constantly looking at the world through rose colored glasses—sometimes ad nauseam. Nevertheless, even Pollyanna gets depressed. The last several weeks have been a time of “great sadness” as William P. Young coins the term in his book The Shack. Lately, the sadness has been coming in great waves. They wash over me from time to time throughout the day and make me very sleepy and melancholy. My sadness is due to dealing with the death of 5 people in the last 4 months. Three of the people lived to old age—2 did not. These 2 deaths have rocked me to my core.

Ironically it is not dealing with death that has me so sad. It was the sheer senselessness of these 2 deaths that insulted my sensibilities. People are not supposes to die young. The one person who died was in her early 40’s. Within 24 hours another friend of mine was crushed by a miscarriage. She lost a baby that she was overjoyed about the week before. I was struck by the randomness of the world and its arbitrary nature. Neither person deserved their fate. There was no divine justice at work in either of these situations and no way to explain the events besides ‘bad things happen’. The last time that I felt this sad is when I had to deal with the death of a young child. Events like these bring up all sorts of questions. Isn’t there a God? Why does this happen? Why can’t God wipe away this type of suffering?

I understand that a lot of suffering in the world happens because we as humans make bad decisions and thus the bad things can be explained. However, these deaths are totally arbitrary. This is Nature at work—and these events are as chaotic to the brain as the random effects of a tidal wave or a hurricane are to the sea shore. I am furious at God! Can this really be his will? In an attempt to feel better I think about Rabbi Kushner’s book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People. His words bring me a sense of peace where I have not found much:

Life is not fair. The wrong people get sick and the wrong people get robbed
and the wrong people get killed in wars and in accidents. Some people see
life’s unfairness and decide, “There is no God; the world is nothing but chaos.”
Others see the same unfairness and ask themselves, “Where do I get my sense of
what is fair and what is unfair? Where do I get my sense of outrage and
indignation, my instinctive response of sympathy when I read in the paper about
a total stranger who has been hurt by life? Don’t I get these things from
God? Doesn’t He plant in me a little bit if his own divine outrage at
injustice and oppression, just as he did for the prophets of the Bible? Isn’t my
feeling of compassion for the afflicted just a reflection of the compassion he
feels when he sees the suffering of his creatures?” …No one ever promised us a
life free from pain and disappointment. The most anyone promised us [is]
that we would not be alone in our pain, and that we would be able to draw upon a
source outside ourselves for the strength and courage we would need to survive
life's tragedies and life's unfairness.

In essence it is our connection to others that makes the random tragedies in life tolerable. Although the answer to why bad things happen is illusive [and a question that scholars will argue about for another thousand years] I am comforted by our resiliency as human beings to overcome the unimaginable. This resiliency is found inside of me, and is strengthened by my connection to others in my life. In the simplest terms, life is about the comfort that we give and receive. In essence this is the divine grace of God. It is our resiliency, the comfort of others, and the hope of a new day that will carry my heart through “the great sadness” when life does not make sense.