Mothers Day Get Away

Our society has a pre-defined formula for what should happen on Mothers Days. It reads like a prescription from the Doctor’s office: Mom gets homemade trinkets from her children of their affection; breakfast in bed and then taken out to eat for dinner. It is a pretty standard response to the day, but what Mom wants may be very different from what she is getting. And in addition, her idea of what she wants may change from year to year. I admit outright that I am a bit different than the usual Mom, but I am sure I share some similarities with my fellow Moms out there. In my case, I usually try to escape off to some remote location for Mothers day. Yes folk, I want nothing more than to be by myself. My heartfelt desire is to have a day where I am not responsible for any life form in the house at least for a little while—I want to read a book in peace, take a nice walk in the woods. As selfish as this may sound it takes a toll on you to be responsible for everyone in the house all the time. You are responsible for the kids not running in the street, for adjudicating their domestic sibling disputes, for putting suntan lotion and bug spray on them and feeding them balanced meals, and making sure that they make good decisions. The list is endless. When you think about it, most everything that happens in your children’s lives is governed by you. Although it may seem fun to be in an all powerful totalitarian role (like God), being the dictator can get overwhelming at times. And yes—even Dictators need a vacation. So my biggest preference on Mother’s Day is to have a day away or turn all of my parental authority over to my husband. My favorite phrase on Mother’s Day to say is “I am not the parent on duty—go ask your Dad about that.” Then I very loudly escape off to the Mall where I am welcomed by endless hours of peace and quiet, of window shopping, getting a manicure, and sipping a cup of tea without having to say, “Stop that—keep your hands to yourself! Was that really nice?” I close my eyes and think. When will I be back? “Later” I whisper in my mind. “Later.”

Still Sad

Although we have Zeus we still miss Louie beyond words and everyone in the family still has grief waves from time to time. A matter of fact, Athena was outside in the backyard yesterday trying to make a boat so she could go find Louie. She sat on top of Louie's grave for hours. She finds comfort there. Athena is only four but it sounded like a ritual from ancient Egypt. Athena's grief waves are the hardest because I think she is doing well and then she reminds me that she still in mourning. The other day she was walking through the butter cups calling to Louie to wake up. The whole experience has taught us so much about, life, death and love.

New Puppy

The Universe served up the perfect Golden Retriever puppy on a silver platter at a price that made us joyous. All I had to do was follow a whim and drive 2 hours to and from Salisbury in the middle of the night to pick up Zeus. What a small price to pay for the perfect family companion for 10 plus years. So glad I read the newspaper that night.

Darkest before the Dawn

The death of our dog has been really hard. Our family cries for Louie and says goodbye with books, Eulogy and headstone. One of my friends said the sweetest thing. They said that human beings are made in the “image” of God but animals are made in the “heart” of God. This phrase was so comforting that we used it when we eulogized Louie and had a family funeral. Each person in the family got a rock to place on the headstone in the Jewish tradition for the funeral. The rock symbolized our sadness being so great that even the rocks from the earth cry out to the heavens with our pain. As we placed the rocks on the grave, we all shared nice memories that we had about Louie. Even my younger kids participated between fits of playing. Afterwards, we read books for several weeks and talked about our feelings. Some of the best books that we read were, Dog Heaven. Alex liked how Dog Heaven said that the Angels bring your pets back to visit you from time to time. He likes to imagine Louie playing snow balls in heaven and having fun but coming back to see him from time to time. The other book that we read was called the Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A story of life for all ages by Leo Buscaglia. This book was not specifically about animals passing but goes through the process of life. It is a very tender book and I even got a lot out of it. The last book that we looked at was the Ten Good Things about Barnie. Although this was about a cat I liked the idea of the book. The last thing about Barnie is that he made the flowers grow. In that vain, we planted Daffodils and Azaleas on Louie’s grave. The Daffodils are just coming up and they look so beautiful. By burrying Louie with our own two hands and trying to touch our grief in all of these ways, we feel more connected to the earth and to life. Hopefully these lessons will help our children as they face loss through out their life time. Hopefully we have given them the seeds for growth that they will take with them. This process has been a journey. At the very least, we needed to say good-bye and honor our friend before we could welcome a new dog into our lives and learn to love again. Louie was a great dog and we will always love him. He was one of a kind.

Old Rag Mountain, VA

Our family went to Old Rag Mountain this weekend with friends and did 10 miles. It was an experience filled with hiking, scrabbling and bouldering. Although we were sore, it was so worth it. For a brief and shining moment we were the family we have always wanted to be. Special thanks go to our host who made the Old Rag Mountain hike possible and a friend who lent us a backpack carrier for Athena. Without team effort this day could not happen.

We hope that these are the memories that our children remember when they grow up. Truly a breathtaking day.

St. Patricks Day

This picture says it all.

Scott's New Job

I don't know what Scott's new job title is at Verizon Wireless but I know it has Engineer in it and he is so very happy. I am just happy that he will no longer be working nights which was taking a toll on his body and hard for the whole family. This new job is a welcome change. The kids and I were so proud of Scott that we made this banner for him. Everyone helped. Zefram drew a rocket; Alex made the bubble letters; and Athena experimented with different color inks on the same letters.