Each night at dinner our Middle Son Zefram does the evening prayer before we eat. It is a great tradition and makes Zefram feel very important to do something as special as calling our family to order in this ceremonious way. The prayer is a cute sing song rhythm that goes—“God, Thank you for the sun, the trees, the mountains and me. Amen.” In addition the prayer has little hand movements that go along with the words that our children love to do. Even my youngest child Athena likes to get into the action with pointing to herself and saying “and me” at the top of her lungs. The institution of the dinner prayer has been a blessing in so many ways to our family and the kids get a great deal out of it. To the outside world the prayer seems innocuous enough but my husband Scott is an Atheist. To him, giving thanks and evoking a higher power at dinnertime is as foreign as living on the moon would have been for our grandparents. Recently, Scott initiated a deep conversation about the family dinnertime prayer. Since I am devoutly spiritual and my husband is devoutly Atheist it did not come as a shock when he said that he would prefer to remain quiet through the prayer but it was Ok if me and the kids continued to say it. Our differences in beliefs have led to a great many conversations over child rearing, respect and belief over the last 9 years. Nevertheless, our strong beliefs have never led to shouting matches, but have been more akin to deep philosophical debates. It reminds me of what dinner must be like for Mary Matalin and James Carville in the political realm. Despite their huge differences they are able to make their marriage work and so are we. What makes my husband Scott and my relationship so strong in the face of polarizing viewpoints is our deep LOVE for one another. I respect Scott and love him to the core of my being. I try very hard not to change him despite my ego tendencies. He in turn loves me so much that he is willing to allow me to raise the children with spirituality despite his deep inner convictions. His compromise means so much to me and is one of the reasons that I continue to love him and cherish him to this day.
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Controversy of the Dinner Time Prayer
Each night at dinner our Middle Son Zefram does the evening prayer before we eat. It is a great tradition and makes Zefram feel very important to do something as special as calling our family to order in this ceremonious way. The prayer is a cute sing song rhythm that goes—“God, Thank you for the sun, the trees, the mountains and me. Amen.” In addition the prayer has little hand movements that go along with the words that our children love to do. Even my youngest child Athena likes to get into the action with pointing to herself and saying “and me” at the top of her lungs. The institution of the dinner prayer has been a blessing in so many ways to our family and the kids get a great deal out of it. To the outside world the prayer seems innocuous enough but my husband Scott is an Atheist. To him, giving thanks and evoking a higher power at dinnertime is as foreign as living on the moon would have been for our grandparents. Recently, Scott initiated a deep conversation about the family dinnertime prayer. Since I am devoutly spiritual and my husband is devoutly Atheist it did not come as a shock when he said that he would prefer to remain quiet through the prayer but it was Ok if me and the kids continued to say it. Our differences in beliefs have led to a great many conversations over child rearing, respect and belief over the last 9 years. Nevertheless, our strong beliefs have never led to shouting matches, but have been more akin to deep philosophical debates. It reminds me of what dinner must be like for Mary Matalin and James Carville in the political realm. Despite their huge differences they are able to make their marriage work and so are we. What makes my husband Scott and my relationship so strong in the face of polarizing viewpoints is our deep LOVE for one another. I respect Scott and love him to the core of my being. I try very hard not to change him despite my ego tendencies. He in turn loves me so much that he is willing to allow me to raise the children with spirituality despite his deep inner convictions. His compromise means so much to me and is one of the reasons that I continue to love him and cherish him to this day.
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