Good-Bye to an old Friend

Our Golden Retriever Louie died today. He was 8 years old and we are heartbroken. He died in my arms in the back yard on top of a blanket of new fallen snow. His last act was completely selfless. He tried to lift his head to look at me. I watched the spirit leave his body. He was so warm and there was nothing I could do to bring Louie back. I saw his eyes focus off into nothingness and pleaded for him to come back. I was in shock. How could my happy Puppy have died so suddenly. I have never felt so helpless in all my life.

Clean Break

I have not written on my blog in quite a while because I have been too caught up trying to do things that have been left undone from the past year to write or do anything new for the future. The New Year is supposed to symbolize change. This change is recognized around the world on the evening of December 31st. New Years symbolizes a clean break. In that spirit I was going to clean house and make lots of New Years resolutions in an effort to be the person I wanted to be. I had a long laundry list of To Do’s. I was going to work out and get back in shape, write on my book, write on my blog at least once a week, build direction into my life, and be a better parent. Like most people, I had a lot of dreams for 2011. I told myself, “This was going to be my year for greatness.”

In that vain, I set about to embark on a proverbial out with the OLD and in with the NEW attitude. But that did not work so well. I got real caught up in the OUT with the old and never got to the in with the NEW. The issue was I was carrying too much unresolved baggage from the old year. On December 31st I was still clamoring around trying to stop the hemorrhaging from 2010 instead of cutting everything loose. I had not started to think about the New Year back in November 2010 (when I should have been planning) and here it was and I was still thinking reactionary. As I sifted through the old Christmas gifts that I had not sent out in time, the old year journal that had not been completed, the clutter in the house—I became consumed in all the previous broken dreams instead of seeing that it had actually turned 2011 on the calendar. I will start 2011 next week I told myself optomistically. I just need to wrap up this project and then I can start anew. Soon, life began to pass me by: January 2nd came and went, my birthday, January 15th and then I looked up and it was already February and Valentines was here. Oh my God! What have I done with my life? It is already Valentines Day and I have failed to welcome in 2011.

It occurred to me that Clean breaks and thinking proactively to the future is very important. I remember reading about Thomas Edison with my son Zefram. Thomas Edison was an incredible man who changed the world with the illumination of the electric light bulb. One day Edison’s entire workshop burned to the ground. He commented that the fire had consumed all of his mistakes. Although many people would have been devastated by loosing all the OLD stuff it allowed him the opportunity to make a clean break and embrace the NEW like you should do on New Years. Sometimes we need clean breaks in life. 2011 is here like it or not. I need to embrace it even though it is the middle of February. Becoming the person that I am meant to be starts with having a great present moment, as Wayne Dyer so eloquently said. So I am going to start embracing the idea of 2011 in this moment. For me, in this very minute, it is 2011. Blessed be.

Looking back at 2010

As we ring in the New Year, I am taking a moment to look back at the highlights of last year.

Here is the summation of 2010 in no particular order. Our family wrote a Family Creed. Scott’s Grandma Ada passed away. We adopted a 7 year old Golden Retriever named Louie. We did our family vacation locally—and loved it. On a personal front: Scott is closing in on 10 years with Verizon Wireless. He became the Cub Scout Leader for Zefram’s Den and is running Alex’s Destination Imagination team as well as DI for Crofton Woods Elementary School. Jena has been appointed to the Maryland State Council on Child Abuse and Neglect, is now a Vigil Volunteer for Hospice of the Chesapeake, and a Lay Minister for the Unitarian Universalist Church in Annapolis.

She also had surgery to fix her torn rotator cuff. Alex entered 4th grade and is an avid reader and a WONDERFUL cellist who is coming into his own at school. He biked 22 miles in the Soft Shell Century. Zefram (our favorite middle child) went on ADHD medication which has been life changing for the entire family. He loves to build and create modern art from refuse. Last but not least, we are trying to rein Athena’s 3 year old Goddess temper in. She recently got potty trained and started pre-school at Community United Methodist Church. However, the biggest event this year was Scott and Jena renewing their 10 year wedding vows with family and friends.

May 2011 be as joyous and meaningful.

Our Deepest Fear is that We are Powerful...

The December season is a special season that inspires hope and reminds us of who we are inside. I love the lights in the Holiday season. The Christmas season reminds me of the light inside of each human being. This light is a magnificent radiant light. May your light burn bright today. Hear is a quote to remind you of who you really are.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson

Love is Blind

When we say that “Love is Blind” we often think of two people in love like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, but the phrase has implications on every relationship that we have. Over time I have learned that any love worth having is truly blind. Recently our family adopted a 7 year old dog named Louie. Unfortunately, Louie had a habit of using my carpet as his own personal latrine. Louie has another bad habit of rolling in smelly stuff. Although we were able to curb his inside behavior, he still comes in smelling pretty awful at least once a week. We thought that these behaviors were deal breakers when we first got Louie. They made me see red—as I am the one who usually cleans up the mess. Then one day my perspective changed. I saw Louie playing on the floor with my 3 year old daughter. Athena was rolling over Louie like a steam roller. Louie just sat there and happily obliged her every whim. He even allowed her to walk him around the house on a leash, dress him up, and tie him to whatever fancied her heart. Louie is very good tempered and is like this with all my children all the time. He loves being a family dog and rises to the occasion of whatever my kids throw at him without getting the slightest bit growly. As I looked at him and Athena playing together on the carpet, I realized that “love is blind.” I had to admit it to myself. I definitely love Louie—stinky dog smell and all. The simple fact is that I can focus on the 10% that Louie does wrong and be miserable or I can focus on the 90%that makes our family happy.

In truth, everyone is like Louie. We all have traits and habits and indiscretions that others find loathsome. We all metaphorically roll in things that don’t smell so good from time to time. There are no perfect people. For example I love my son but he is a drama king, my other son is hyperactive and my daughter would be perfect if she wasn’t such a bossy little creature. Don’t even let me get started about my husband or my grandmother. However, in order to really love them or anyone for that matter we must be willing to look past their faults and see their perfection. Like Louie, it is not the fact that they roll in smelly stuff that matters, it is that for the other 90% of the day my kids are amazing and so is my Husband and Grandmother as well as anyone I know.

This action of seeing people’s perfection instead of their limitations is driven home this time of year as we get together with friends and family for Thanksgiving. As we sit at the Thanksgiving table look at all the people across from us. We are reminded that each one of them carries baggage that we don’t like and don’t talk about in civil company. I will go as far as to say we would not even associate with some of them if they were not related to us. Every one of the people around you at the table has foibles. They’re Republicans or Democrats. They’re homosexual or homophobic. They’re drunks or teetotalers, fundamentalists, agnostics or atheists. They are a whole host of other ‘-ists’ that we find intolerable. You name your poison; the list goes on and on. They are all represented at the Thanksgiving table and we break bread with them anyway despite the elephant in the room and the enforced silence about certain topics. Without this blind spot that you make for the people you love we would not be able to love them at all. So yes—love is blind. It should be no other way. After all, much like the inclusions in a diamond, it is our imperfections that make us special.

Back to basics

My torn rotator cuff put me out of the game since January. I have been unable to exercise. Over time my habits changed, my life became more sedentary and my body became soft. This had devastating effects on my self-esteem and I became depressed. I had lost my balance and my edge. Contrary to what you might think, this downward spiral was not all ego based. As I once learned in Karate our lives must be balanced, “Body, Mind and Spirit” for us to be the wonderful creatures that we were meant to be. Balance in these 3 areas puts us in accord with the universe and all goodness flows from that. The Bible even holds that our body is the temple of God. If this is indeed the case, then everything that we do in life starts with our core being. Therefore it was back to basics for me. This week has been devoted to my center. In order to do this, I started practicing yoga again and the effects on my psyche in just one week have been astounding. I am standing straighter, my posture is better, my self confidence is back and I am happy and centered. I know that this is just the beginning but “the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.” I have committed to myself to do Yoga every day for 30 days. I am on day seven. Every part of my body aches with pain but I am relishing the feeling of soreness knowing that I am transforming inside and out. As they say, “all is well with my soul.”

The 2010 Cochrane Family Creed

Our family created a Family Creed this year. We are trying to use it as our family's mission statement to help us stay on course as a family. Everything we do (together or seperately) should come back to this statement.


Love yourself;
Love one another;
Love and respect the entire planet and the universe;
Make that love visible through deeds.

Our family is alive to;
Marvel at nature,
give thanks,
forgive others,
make everyone feel of worth
and to serve others
while bringing creativity,
joy and learning to everything we do;
All from within a state of quite cool.