Love is Blind

When we say that “Love is Blind” we often think of two people in love like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, but the phrase has implications on every relationship that we have. Over time I have learned that any love worth having is truly blind. Recently our family adopted a 7 year old dog named Louie. Unfortunately, Louie had a habit of using my carpet as his own personal latrine. Louie has another bad habit of rolling in smelly stuff. Although we were able to curb his inside behavior, he still comes in smelling pretty awful at least once a week. We thought that these behaviors were deal breakers when we first got Louie. They made me see red—as I am the one who usually cleans up the mess. Then one day my perspective changed. I saw Louie playing on the floor with my 3 year old daughter. Athena was rolling over Louie like a steam roller. Louie just sat there and happily obliged her every whim. He even allowed her to walk him around the house on a leash, dress him up, and tie him to whatever fancied her heart. Louie is very good tempered and is like this with all my children all the time. He loves being a family dog and rises to the occasion of whatever my kids throw at him without getting the slightest bit growly. As I looked at him and Athena playing together on the carpet, I realized that “love is blind.” I had to admit it to myself. I definitely love Louie—stinky dog smell and all. The simple fact is that I can focus on the 10% that Louie does wrong and be miserable or I can focus on the 90%that makes our family happy.

In truth, everyone is like Louie. We all have traits and habits and indiscretions that others find loathsome. We all metaphorically roll in things that don’t smell so good from time to time. There are no perfect people. For example I love my son but he is a drama king, my other son is hyperactive and my daughter would be perfect if she wasn’t such a bossy little creature. Don’t even let me get started about my husband or my grandmother. However, in order to really love them or anyone for that matter we must be willing to look past their faults and see their perfection. Like Louie, it is not the fact that they roll in smelly stuff that matters, it is that for the other 90% of the day my kids are amazing and so is my Husband and Grandmother as well as anyone I know.

This action of seeing people’s perfection instead of their limitations is driven home this time of year as we get together with friends and family for Thanksgiving. As we sit at the Thanksgiving table look at all the people across from us. We are reminded that each one of them carries baggage that we don’t like and don’t talk about in civil company. I will go as far as to say we would not even associate with some of them if they were not related to us. Every one of the people around you at the table has foibles. They’re Republicans or Democrats. They’re homosexual or homophobic. They’re drunks or teetotalers, fundamentalists, agnostics or atheists. They are a whole host of other ‘-ists’ that we find intolerable. You name your poison; the list goes on and on. They are all represented at the Thanksgiving table and we break bread with them anyway despite the elephant in the room and the enforced silence about certain topics. Without this blind spot that you make for the people you love we would not be able to love them at all. So yes—love is blind. It should be no other way. After all, much like the inclusions in a diamond, it is our imperfections that make us special.

Back to basics

My torn rotator cuff put me out of the game since January. I have been unable to exercise. Over time my habits changed, my life became more sedentary and my body became soft. This had devastating effects on my self-esteem and I became depressed. I had lost my balance and my edge. Contrary to what you might think, this downward spiral was not all ego based. As I once learned in Karate our lives must be balanced, “Body, Mind and Spirit” for us to be the wonderful creatures that we were meant to be. Balance in these 3 areas puts us in accord with the universe and all goodness flows from that. The Bible even holds that our body is the temple of God. If this is indeed the case, then everything that we do in life starts with our core being. Therefore it was back to basics for me. This week has been devoted to my center. In order to do this, I started practicing yoga again and the effects on my psyche in just one week have been astounding. I am standing straighter, my posture is better, my self confidence is back and I am happy and centered. I know that this is just the beginning but “the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.” I have committed to myself to do Yoga every day for 30 days. I am on day seven. Every part of my body aches with pain but I am relishing the feeling of soreness knowing that I am transforming inside and out. As they say, “all is well with my soul.”

The 2010 Cochrane Family Creed

Our family created a Family Creed this year. We are trying to use it as our family's mission statement to help us stay on course as a family. Everything we do (together or seperately) should come back to this statement.


Love yourself;
Love one another;
Love and respect the entire planet and the universe;
Make that love visible through deeds.

Our family is alive to;
Marvel at nature,
give thanks,
forgive others,
make everyone feel of worth
and to serve others
while bringing creativity,
joy and learning to everything we do;
All from within a state of quite cool.

The President of the United States in Bowie,MD

I make no bones about the fact that I love President Barack Obama. In fact it was going to his Inauguration that spurred me to write my blog in the first place. But today was a sweet day; I got to see President Obama with my own two eyes from about 40 feet away at Bowie State University. No matter what your politics, it is aw inspiring to see the President of the United States of America. I absolutely love him! He always inspires me to want to be a better person. I am so grateful that my husband sent me the invite to see the Prsident. My husband went above the call of duty. He even got up early to take me to the train station so that I could have this moment after working all night. He is such an amazing man.

Forever Dog

It is common knowledge that our family has raised 3 dogs for Guiding Eyes for the Blind, GEB. We did not know how impacting this was on Alex’s life until he read an Open Court assignment last year in school on a boy who had gone through the experience of raising and giving up his dog Rosie for the blind. Alex steadfastly refused to do the assignment and then dissolved into a heap of tears when I finally read the story to him as a last resort. His teacher, Scott, and I all talked to Alex and he learned what a great organization Guiding Eyes was. They were not just puppy thieves. We told him how Guiding Eyes taught our family about giving; Nevertheless, Scott and I agreed that it was time for a forever dog outside of GEB. Thus we have Louie. Louie is a beautiful 7 year old Golden retriever that Scott calls furniture because he is as big as a Shetland pony. Louie was being liquidated in a divorce and needed a home. He had previously grown up with a wonderful family that has 3 children about the same ages as our children. Louie was love at first sight. Louie literally ended up on our door step and after one night it felt like Louie had lived hear all his life. Louie has such a laid back temper. He lets the children use him daily as a jungle gym for their exercise and sleeps on the boy’s floor. Our family can not say enough nice things about Louie. He is smart, food driven and has nice manors. Clearly you can tell that he was loved all his life. But my favorite part is that he learned (in 2 days) not to come into the kitchen and what the house rules were. Louie is such a love. He is everything we always wanted in a forever dog.

Everyday Miracles

Miracles are not some random events that happened thousands of years ago in the Bible or in some other ancient text, like the parting of the red sea. Miracles are the soft whispers of God that happen in any given moment. They are the moments where we connect to everything around us and they are as plentiful as the sands on the sea shore. I have had many of these encounters in the last couple of days—in fact I have them everyday—and every time I meet someone. I just have to slow up, be present, and surrender to the moment. Miracles happen in the normal course of life as I am going about shopping in the food store or speaking on the telephone. I have found that any meeting that I have with another person is a chance meeting with God—no matter how brief. Yesterday I went up to Edgar in Trader Joes to thank him because he had told me with such conviction that my operation was going to be all right. He had told me this while loading my groceries in the car. Then there was Pat at Safeway that reassured me that I was a good Mom when Athena was wailing (to my embarrassment) at the top of her lungs in Safeway because she wanted me to buy her candy and I had said “No.” I was so happy that the universe had sent me a special Angel to tell me to hang in there. The Universe is like a pipeline and the God moments just keep coming like rushing water. Next, I was in the wine store buying a bottle of wine. I talked to the gentleman who is a retired police officer about children. He got an old faded picture out of his wallet and showed me his 3 grown children and regaled me about their lives and how one is even living in California these days. He had 2 sons and a daughter just like me and it was as if he was saying it was going to be all right. See I had 3 kids and they survived and you can do it too with your 3 kids. As I looked into the Gentleman’s eyes I could tell this was a special moment I was sharing with him and that it was more important then the wine I was buying. After we spoke he came from behind the counter and held Athena up so she could feed the fish in the tank. This was a Wow moment and I would have missed it if I was going too fast. But these moments don’t stop—they just keep on coming and I have another ten stories just like them that happened all on the same day. All of these moments are Miracles. These moments when people see me and I really see them are sacred. They happen with perfect strangers, friends, acquaintances, reminding us that there is no separation. We are just one big happy family. In those moments we stop and visit as if we are old friends catching each other up on what we have missed even if we have just met 10 seconds before.

The Power of Womanhood

Women are strong and compassionate leaders because we have a natural wisdom that resonates from the heart. I came to understand this after becoming a Mother. I went through natural childbirth and discovered that as a woman I have an ancient wisdom within me. Women are the Steel Magnolias. We are the Yin in ‘Yin and Yang’; the world needs us to maintain balance. We women bring forth life and are inexorably connected to nature and to others. All women share this ability to create with the Divine, thus beauty, love and empathy are the essence of our soul. This truth was hidden from me for quite some time. Being a victim of rape, I thought men held the power; but over time realized we are all one. To forgive the rapist is to forgive myself. To help a robbery victim is to lend a hand to God. To love and nurture my children is to love and nurture generations unto the end of time. Being a woman means I can be a leader like Queen Elizabeth, Hillary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice, and I can be compassionate like Florence Nightingale and Mother Teresa. Today I wear many hats. I am a Mom, Marathon Runner, Black Belt, Lay Minister, and Hospice Volunteer. My power manifests not only in the choices I make daily to shape my children’s lives but in every sacred moment. What makes me a leader is living this truth, even when no one else is looking. All of my choices are manifestations of every woman’s inner voice and we are --- one.