Lent & Abstinence

Yesterday was the first day of Lent. It kicks off the 40 day period before Easter. In truth, I still cling to this Christian tradition and now practice it in my own home. Marking my head with ashes and giving up something I love for 40 days had all the appeal of a root canal when I was growing up. But I now find wisdom in this tradition. Henry Metzger once said that “you should never be ruled by your passions.” This is the essence of Lent—at least for me. There are so many attachments in life; attachments to our cell phones, cars, shoes, food, and even Starbucks. That is not to say that we should not enjoy life and enjoy these things, but it does mean that we should always be the master and not the servant to our whims and desires. In many ways I see Lent as the equivalent to Ramadan or Yom Kippur. It is a time of reflection and spiritual cleansing from the influences of the world. This internal reflection helps a human being on the road to enlightenment or being more like Christ. This is a part of the personal pilgrimage that a person needs to undergo to fully understand the joy of Easter morning.

This year I put ashes on my forehead and made a commitment to abstain from alcohol for 40 days. Ok, let’s be honest. I am making the commitment to stay away from wine for 40 days. This is a huge sacrifice for me! I am a connoisseur of wine. I love everything about wine from the tannins to the full body textures that personifies a nice barrel aged vintage. The experience of wine is one of the small pleasures of life. “Wine ... cheereth God and man.” as it so eloquently states in Judges, 9:13 I love everything from the way wine smells (the nose) to the way it tantalizes the pallet. Yes folks, wine is one of my main attachments in life and I have often joked that if I cannot reach enlightenment without a glass of wine in my hand I want no part of becoming a better human being. Nonetheless, I am taking a baby step into a brave new world in order to find a deeper meaning to this experience we call the human condition.

Last year I gave up meat for 40 days with the same goal and although I did not turn into a vegetarian it did make me think deeper about my relationship to the food that I eat and to animals I consume. Perhaps I will gain equal insight as I abstain from wine this year. At the very least it will make the glass of wine I have on April 24th that much more of a religious experience.

The Arrow of Light—Coming of Age Ceremony

One of the awesome things about living on 2 acres is that we have bonfires in our back yard. They are a staple of our home like peanut butter and jelly and they make us special; Most of the time our bonfires are private events held on Friday nights with friends but last night was different. Last night we played host to Cub Scout Troup 115’s Arrow of Light Ceremony. This is one of the biggest ceremonies in a Cub Scout's career. It is the only award that a Cub Scout can earn and be worn on their Boy Scout Uniform. We witnessed several young men recieve this award last night. Among them we watched our next door neighbor’s son and a young man (whose family was responsible for giving us Louie) both achieve the Arrow of Light. This gave the ceremony a personal touch. Amidst the flames and the solemn occasion proud parents looked on as their boys took the next step into manhood. It was a truly remarkable coming of age ceremony and the Cochrane Family was honored that we were recommended to host this prestigious event--especially Scott.

This event made such a huge impression on us, but would not have been possible without the many people who gave of their time. Thank you to everyone who made the Arrow of Light ceremony a success--especially our next door neighbor who went above and beyond to make the night great. He even handmade the Arrow of Light Awards that were given out at the ceremony.Wow! Now if that is not the measure of an involved Dad, I don’t know what is.

A Day on the Town for Athena

Aunt Kristina took Athena out for a day on the town leaving a happy Mom to rest and do chores. If the truth be told, Athena was elated to be going somewhere without mom. She kept running around the house saying “we are going out—but not you” as she pointed in my general direction. Athena did not mean this exclusion maliciously so I tried to redirect her language to be positive. I told her to say, “I want to spend private time with Aunt Kristina by myself, but I still love you.” At 4 years old politeness is not part of Athena’s language. She was right to be excited though. Her and Aunt Kristina had a lot of fun going to Chic-Fil-A. They had ice cream at Cold Stone and went shopping for a bird and doggie that she adores.

Happy Birthday Athena

Athena had her first birthday party at home with 9 children in attendance. This was her first party with friends in attendance; she was 4 years old on February 24th. Athena had a princess birthday and really got into all the gifts. She seemed shocked that they were all for her. She also had fun having costume changes throughout the day. The party was a nice reprieve from the sadness that our family has been experiencing. We are still sad about Louie’s death but trying to honor the happy times too.

A Letter to Louie

Dear Louie,

When someone leaves your life it is always the little things you miss the most. These little things seem so big after someone passes away. I want you to know that you meant so much to everyone in the Cochrane Family from the youngest member to the oldest. So I compiled a list of all the sweet things that made you special. Most of all, I remember your beautiful blond eye lashes that would have been the envy of any movie star; your soft kind chocolate eyes. Then there was your wagging. When you wagged your tail, your whole body seemed to wag almost like a Chinese parade dog. Also, you used to moan when my husband Scott rubbed your ears—and it would send us “All” into stitches of laughter. Several times a day you would playfully mouth my arm or toss my hand on top of your head for forced petting. It was too cute! I miss how you leaned up against me. You always craved affection as much as you craved food. You loved to carry around a small stuffed animal in your mouth—especially if the kids left them on the floor. I miss everything about you. I even miss your wet pink nose that turned black around the edges, your sweet face and the smell of your fur. You used to roll in the mud after every bath and thought you smelled as good as Channel #5. Pew!

You were never too far away especially early in the morning or late at night. You always kept vigil over me no matter if it was 11:30 PM or 4 AM in the morning. You were always there when I sat on the couch or right outside the kitchen door waiting to be called on. The thing that I remember the most about you Louie was how you would put your wet slimy nose in my hands when I was meditating. I tried never to crack a smile but I was always smiling on the inside. I miss how you were my dog. I would hold on to your neck and burry my face in your fur. You always gave me strength to face a day with my rambunctious children. I truly never new how happy you made my days.

When we first got you, you went through an episode of peeing on our carpets but we got through all that—and life was good. In truth, your house manors were so very good by dog standards. You “came” when “called” which is more then I can say for my kids. You used to lie still when I brushed your fur and even used to change sides. You never growled at us—ever! Not even when things hurt. You never jumped on anyone. You welcomed everyone at the door--and still we could dismiss you with a single word and you would go without a fuss. You were such an agreeable dog.

Most of all I loved how you made me feel safe in my own house—especially at night when Scott was working nights. In the words of Alex—“You were brave.” Your size was imposing but you were our gentle giant. Even my 4 year old daughter could lead you around on the leash—and you loved it.

Everyone loved you. All our children friends loved you— people would come over to the house just to see you. Even the grown-ups loved you but you lived for the kids. It took so little to make you happy. A few snow balls and children to play with. You genuinely loved all the children with all of your heart. You were always with them when they were downstairs. You watched over them as if they were your cubs.

Louie, you were the calming influence in our lives; you were such a love; you were our mascot; our friend; you were our Louie.

With Love always,
The Cochrane Family

Good-Bye to an old Friend

Our Golden Retriever Louie died today. He was 8 years old and we are heartbroken. He died in my arms in the back yard on top of a blanket of new fallen snow. His last act was completely selfless. He tried to lift his head to look at me. I watched the spirit leave his body. He was so warm and there was nothing I could do to bring Louie back. I saw his eyes focus off into nothingness and pleaded for him to come back. I was in shock. How could my happy Puppy have died so suddenly. I have never felt so helpless in all my life.

Clean Break

I have not written on my blog in quite a while because I have been too caught up trying to do things that have been left undone from the past year to write or do anything new for the future. The New Year is supposed to symbolize change. This change is recognized around the world on the evening of December 31st. New Years symbolizes a clean break. In that spirit I was going to clean house and make lots of New Years resolutions in an effort to be the person I wanted to be. I had a long laundry list of To Do’s. I was going to work out and get back in shape, write on my book, write on my blog at least once a week, build direction into my life, and be a better parent. Like most people, I had a lot of dreams for 2011. I told myself, “This was going to be my year for greatness.”

In that vain, I set about to embark on a proverbial out with the OLD and in with the NEW attitude. But that did not work so well. I got real caught up in the OUT with the old and never got to the in with the NEW. The issue was I was carrying too much unresolved baggage from the old year. On December 31st I was still clamoring around trying to stop the hemorrhaging from 2010 instead of cutting everything loose. I had not started to think about the New Year back in November 2010 (when I should have been planning) and here it was and I was still thinking reactionary. As I sifted through the old Christmas gifts that I had not sent out in time, the old year journal that had not been completed, the clutter in the house—I became consumed in all the previous broken dreams instead of seeing that it had actually turned 2011 on the calendar. I will start 2011 next week I told myself optomistically. I just need to wrap up this project and then I can start anew. Soon, life began to pass me by: January 2nd came and went, my birthday, January 15th and then I looked up and it was already February and Valentines was here. Oh my God! What have I done with my life? It is already Valentines Day and I have failed to welcome in 2011.

It occurred to me that Clean breaks and thinking proactively to the future is very important. I remember reading about Thomas Edison with my son Zefram. Thomas Edison was an incredible man who changed the world with the illumination of the electric light bulb. One day Edison’s entire workshop burned to the ground. He commented that the fire had consumed all of his mistakes. Although many people would have been devastated by loosing all the OLD stuff it allowed him the opportunity to make a clean break and embrace the NEW like you should do on New Years. Sometimes we need clean breaks in life. 2011 is here like it or not. I need to embrace it even though it is the middle of February. Becoming the person that I am meant to be starts with having a great present moment, as Wayne Dyer so eloquently said. So I am going to start embracing the idea of 2011 in this moment. For me, in this very minute, it is 2011. Blessed be.