Everyday Miracles

Miracles are not some random events that happened thousands of years ago in the Bible or in some other ancient text, like the parting of the red sea. Miracles are the soft whispers of God that happen in any given moment. They are the moments where we connect to everything around us and they are as plentiful as the sands on the sea shore. I have had many of these encounters in the last couple of days—in fact I have them everyday—and every time I meet someone. I just have to slow up, be present, and surrender to the moment. Miracles happen in the normal course of life as I am going about shopping in the food store or speaking on the telephone. I have found that any meeting that I have with another person is a chance meeting with God—no matter how brief. Yesterday I went up to Edgar in Trader Joes to thank him because he had told me with such conviction that my operation was going to be all right. He had told me this while loading my groceries in the car. Then there was Pat at Safeway that reassured me that I was a good Mom when Athena was wailing (to my embarrassment) at the top of her lungs in Safeway because she wanted me to buy her candy and I had said “No.” I was so happy that the universe had sent me a special Angel to tell me to hang in there. The Universe is like a pipeline and the God moments just keep coming like rushing water. Next, I was in the wine store buying a bottle of wine. I talked to the gentleman who is a retired police officer about children. He got an old faded picture out of his wallet and showed me his 3 grown children and regaled me about their lives and how one is even living in California these days. He had 2 sons and a daughter just like me and it was as if he was saying it was going to be all right. See I had 3 kids and they survived and you can do it too with your 3 kids. As I looked into the Gentleman’s eyes I could tell this was a special moment I was sharing with him and that it was more important then the wine I was buying. After we spoke he came from behind the counter and held Athena up so she could feed the fish in the tank. This was a Wow moment and I would have missed it if I was going too fast. But these moments don’t stop—they just keep on coming and I have another ten stories just like them that happened all on the same day. All of these moments are Miracles. These moments when people see me and I really see them are sacred. They happen with perfect strangers, friends, acquaintances, reminding us that there is no separation. We are just one big happy family. In those moments we stop and visit as if we are old friends catching each other up on what we have missed even if we have just met 10 seconds before.

The Power of Womanhood

Women are strong and compassionate leaders because we have a natural wisdom that resonates from the heart. I came to understand this after becoming a Mother. I went through natural childbirth and discovered that as a woman I have an ancient wisdom within me. Women are the Steel Magnolias. We are the Yin in ‘Yin and Yang’; the world needs us to maintain balance. We women bring forth life and are inexorably connected to nature and to others. All women share this ability to create with the Divine, thus beauty, love and empathy are the essence of our soul. This truth was hidden from me for quite some time. Being a victim of rape, I thought men held the power; but over time realized we are all one. To forgive the rapist is to forgive myself. To help a robbery victim is to lend a hand to God. To love and nurture my children is to love and nurture generations unto the end of time. Being a woman means I can be a leader like Queen Elizabeth, Hillary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice, and I can be compassionate like Florence Nightingale and Mother Teresa. Today I wear many hats. I am a Mom, Marathon Runner, Black Belt, Lay Minister, and Hospice Volunteer. My power manifests not only in the choices I make daily to shape my children’s lives but in every sacred moment. What makes me a leader is living this truth, even when no one else is looking. All of my choices are manifestations of every woman’s inner voice and we are --- one.

Athena's Labrinth

Our spiritual teachers come in all forms if were open to it--sometimes they are 3 year olds. This last Sunday I was out with a sub set of my children; My 8 year old son Alex and my 3 year old daughter Athena. We were walking a stone Labyrinth after church. Although the idea of the labyrinth traditionally comes from Greek mythology, this modern adaptation was meant to inspire thought or spiritual reflection. The idea was that you wanted to take a stone into the labyrinth (along with a personal intention) and place it on one of the stick drawn lines in the labyrinth thus adding to its creation. Anyone was free to walk the labyrinth anyway that appealed them. There was no wrong way just as there is no wrong way to go through life. Ultimately, the goal was to get to the center of the labyrinth and back and hopefully gain some sort of understanding along the way. I searched through the rock pile finding the perfect rock and picked up (holding it like a prized possession). Then I took off my shoes to signify holy ground and started to make the pilgrimage to the center of the labyrinth. I was so careful not to step on any of the lines and to follow the path previously created with stones. It was intense. Carefully and methodically I weaved through the labyrinth sometimes readjusting my course as I ran into a dead end. I was entrenched in thought and being very sacred about the whole practice when my daughter Athena (who has always been in touch with her spiritual side) came whizzing by me at a good clip. She was not walking the path but deliberately stepping over the stones to get to the center. Lines did not mean anything to her. She, after all, was three and children have no need of such restrictions. Children are so carefree! It occurred to me as I watched Athena reach the center of the circle (and exclaim that she did it) that the lines or restrictions that hold us back in life are often times self-created. In fact, there are no barriers in life at all other then the ones we create. Athena had taught me a wonderful lesson that all children know intuitively and adults have forgotten.

4th of July 2010

Alex sat on top of the wall and watched the fireworks on the 4th of July in Fredrick Maryland. He was lost in the mystery of "the Bombs Bursting in air" and I was transfixed by the mystery that he is my son. Life is truely worth marveling at. This wow moment is what it is all about.

Surgery and my Global Family

When things like surgery happen to you it makes you contemplate our global existence and how family fits into that. When I first found out that I was going to have surgery I was very sad because I do not have a lot of family that is close in proximity to me in Maryland. 100 years ago it was our immediate family in the village or tribe (where we grew up) that took care of us when life went wrong. However since families live so far away in 21st century, I have had to transition to a more global way of looking at the idea of family. In order to deal with the distance between blood related families it is imperative that we treat the world at large as our extended family doing for them what we would have done for our families in small tribes. Not only is it important to give people in our community care but it is important to take help from those around us when life goes aerie. The word “family” has to be more linked today with geographic location rather then blood ties. In a recent meditation that I had before I went to the hospital I was reminded that I am a child of the universe not just of two earthly parents. Therefore everyone is technically my family and there are no divisions between us. We are all children of the universe. Some would say we are decedents of Adam and Eve and the spark of God lives in each and every one of us. Wherever there are people we have family. There is no such thing as being alone.

Today I was blessed by being the recipient of this new type of global family and I am so grateful. My surgery went very well. All the doctors and nurses took such good care of me at the Edward Pavilion at Anne Arundel Medical Center but I found a special connection to my Anesthesiologist who was this amazingly beautiful woman who had four children about the same ages as mine. We swapped parent stories and laughed so much the tears were almost ran down my face. My Anesthesiologist told me that she would be with me every step of the way in the operating room. Although each person that I came across today at the hospital treated me with dignity and respect (and even a smile) I was ecstatic when my doctor told me that my rotator cuff and ligament were only 20% torn which means I will be out of the sling in 3 days and recovery will be only a month. This was the best case scenario and is a dream come true--especially with 3 kids at home. I owe so many people thanks today for uplifting me and helping me to get well. I owe thanks not only the people that I just met today but also to all the people in my personal life. Scott for one continues to be the back bone of my existence. I was so touched by the teddy bear (in a sling) and poster that welcomed me home on the front porch that he did with the kids. But my gratitude did not stop there. My local community came through for me in immeasurable ways. I am so grateful. Beth who took me to the hospital (stayed with me) and brought me copious amounts of pudding from Trader Joes that I ate ravenously. But the help did not stop there. Alexandra came over to bring our family dinner. Then Teri stepped up to watch me so that I would not be in the house alone in the house while Scott drove Alex to the Popkins for a sleep over. The help was like a bottomless well. So many people called, emailed me and sent me text to let me know that I was loved—and all of these expressions of love were so appreciated. I feel so overwhelmingly grateful to the universe for expressing its love for me in this form. I truly feel at one with my global family and am brimming with thanksgiving.

Rotator Cuff Surgery--1 week away

My greatest challenge is only a week away. Here is the update on my torn rotator cuff and my torn ligament. The pain in my shoulder has come back with a vengeance and the Doctor says I can’t wait until September to do the surgery so July 2nd is D-day. I was pretty scared up until yesterday because my surgery has the potential to be tougher then any marathon or triathlon I have ever done. Loosing the use of your right arm is basically loosing your freedom (not something I cope really well with). Loosing my independence is a pretty scary proposition with 3 small children and no family to help. The best case scenario is that my right arm will be in a sling for 3 days with a month recovery but the more likely scenario is that I will be in a sling for 4 to 5 weeks. Nevertheless I am sure that I will come through this event with flying colors. I am lucky to know such great people and I have a warrior spirit that will not allow me to give up: Age, Flexibility, family genetics, and being in good health are also positives on my side. Over all, I believe that the Universe is compassionate and right about now I am so happy that my 8 year old son Alex knows how to make French toast because we will be eating an awful lot of it. He is such a big help and I must never forget my wonderful husband. As I watched the remake of the Karate Kid last night I was reminded that the greatest asset of a human being is the ability to get back up when they fall down. The next few weeks will be a testament to living that truth and I know the help will come when I most need it.

Alex Does the Impossible

The great thing about children is they think that anything is possible and so it is. They are the ultimate dreamers. In keeping with the theme that anything is possible--Alex at the age of 8 years old completed the 3rd Annual Jaycees Soft Shell Metric Century 23 mile bike ride on the Eastern Shore with his father in Christfield MD on Saturday, May 29th. See the web site at: http://salisburyjc.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=55&Itemid=300091. Alex is pretty amazing! But what was more interesting is that he even fell off his bike and got right back up. These are without a doubt lessons for life.