Doing what is “right” and what “easy” is not always the same thing. Zefram recently challenged me to choose between doing what was right and what was easy at the Supermarket. Last week we went to Superfresh and as we were perusing the tomatoes and avocados, Zefram saw the Grocer. We have seen him many times before. This time however, Zefram looked up from his frivolities and announced in a very load voice, “He is so fat!” The man was barely out of ear shot so I know that he heard what my son had said. I was instantly mortified but tried to remember that Zefram is only four years old. Nevertheless, this is the moment that it is incumbent on us as parents to react and step up to the challenge. I immediately looked Zefram in the face and told him what he had done was wrong and hurtful and put him in time out. I wanted him to know the gravity of the situation and that saying things like that hurts peoples feelings. When I turned around the Grocer was gone. Later in the car Zefram and I talked about the situation. He said he only liked thin people. I told him that God makes everyone and we need to treat them nicely. That was the end of the incident until we went shopping again. The Grocer was busy unpacking oranges and I spotted him from across the way. There was a lump in my throat. Do I do what is right or what is easy? It would be so easy to ignore the situation and pretend it didn’t happen. No, that wasn’t right. If I want my kids to learn to grow up with moral character it means that they need to see me model that behavior for them even when I feel uncomfortable. Ignoring the butterflies in my stomach, I hoisted Athena on my hip, grabbed Zefram’s hand, and went over to talk to the Grocer. I introduced myself to Paul and he looked shocked that I had come over to speak to him. I looked him in the eye and said, “I wanted to apologize on behalf of my son. He was very rude to you last time we were in the store and I am sorry.” Paul smiled a beautiful smile that lit up his whole face and said that he had been called worse. The comment made me feel bad for him because no one should be treated like that. Paul was so very nice and forgiving. I am happy that we talked. Maybe we made a new friend.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Right vs. Easy
Doing what is “right” and what “easy” is not always the same thing. Zefram recently challenged me to choose between doing what was right and what was easy at the Supermarket. Last week we went to Superfresh and as we were perusing the tomatoes and avocados, Zefram saw the Grocer. We have seen him many times before. This time however, Zefram looked up from his frivolities and announced in a very load voice, “He is so fat!” The man was barely out of ear shot so I know that he heard what my son had said. I was instantly mortified but tried to remember that Zefram is only four years old. Nevertheless, this is the moment that it is incumbent on us as parents to react and step up to the challenge. I immediately looked Zefram in the face and told him what he had done was wrong and hurtful and put him in time out. I wanted him to know the gravity of the situation and that saying things like that hurts peoples feelings. When I turned around the Grocer was gone. Later in the car Zefram and I talked about the situation. He said he only liked thin people. I told him that God makes everyone and we need to treat them nicely. That was the end of the incident until we went shopping again. The Grocer was busy unpacking oranges and I spotted him from across the way. There was a lump in my throat. Do I do what is right or what is easy? It would be so easy to ignore the situation and pretend it didn’t happen. No, that wasn’t right. If I want my kids to learn to grow up with moral character it means that they need to see me model that behavior for them even when I feel uncomfortable. Ignoring the butterflies in my stomach, I hoisted Athena on my hip, grabbed Zefram’s hand, and went over to talk to the Grocer. I introduced myself to Paul and he looked shocked that I had come over to speak to him. I looked him in the eye and said, “I wanted to apologize on behalf of my son. He was very rude to you last time we were in the store and I am sorry.” Paul smiled a beautiful smile that lit up his whole face and said that he had been called worse. The comment made me feel bad for him because no one should be treated like that. Paul was so very nice and forgiving. I am happy that we talked. Maybe we made a new friend.
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